white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
