She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
A+ Viking dick
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
