I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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