Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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