alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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