She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
