dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
