i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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