There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
