I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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