I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The air was thick with penises
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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