She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
