Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
