I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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