69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
