At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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