Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
