Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
