We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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