is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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