come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
