Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
