my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
