i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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