I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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