Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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