why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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