you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
