At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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