Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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