I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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