The maid of honor just puked.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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