it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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