so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
