It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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