idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
