gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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