just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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