Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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