They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
