another moral hangover. fuck.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
