Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
