If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
