omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
