Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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