Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
