mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
