I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
