Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
