Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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