In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
