I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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